DAY 14 

I stop writings for a couple days ,living in mind reality ,I mean yes I was doing many physical activity (…because I was moving…) …but this does not meant, that I was aware of my breath and physical movement…..

is a fact that I can move in physical  reality ,but with out awareness  , moving like a robot…….

Also,  I did listen couple of interview from eqafe…..and one point which, I have program  myself ,came up about being to late(..i did the blog about this….) and also , I realize  how I really do  not want to take responsibility for myself , in times I am looking for some breaks ….,like waiting for something  in my life to occur ….,so the responsibility of my life will be not that hard…

    I see in me 

how, I look for somebody  to  tell me, 

 that  it  will be better, 

I see, how I do  want  to have some guarantee

 ,that because I write and listen some interview,

 I have this sort of like alibi that ,

well at last I am doing something,

that  I am better, 

that  I am more evolve ,

I see how fear in me , push  me to do  things in my life and reality,

   The point of RESPONSIBILITY  is so overwhelm to me,and I see ,how I look for excuses to  not take responsibility for me .

   So with no specific subjects I would like to write self forgiveness on many points:

1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to not really being self honest with me .

2.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to came up with all kind of excuses , that I blame somebody or something in my life ,to go to this ego play out .

3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, falling so easy to my blame personality ,to still cover my ego ,to still not changing.

4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, feeling safe ,because I write self forgiveness points,safe from a perspective that I have more points in existence ,that I wan't be the last ,and in case this will be my passport for having better place in existence.

5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to not see this process of writing for what  it is,which is seeing and deconstructing the program I did and create , realizing how I did this and from this points writing the process of changing and walking the changes.

6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to compare my writings with other people writings ,which is so ridicules ,I mean everybody start at different  time ,everybody have different  programs and walk different  points ……I mean some points are the same ,but the walk is different  ,and this process is about sharing , not a comparing .

7.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, judge my writings less important ,….because I just start ….,judging that is boring …,that the language is not that great…..and so on ,and with this still  giving away power to my victim personality .

8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to question  my subjects of writings ,to allowed not to be satisfy with  my writings ,to  not see  for what it  is ,but see from a perspective of some performance of how can I be better ,of how can I be more eloquent   on this stage of writing.

9.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to totally give up  to this to  lateness  mentality,…and yes !! there is the point of too late ,when we have the last breath …..,but if I  am here , breathing ,moving ….I should not take anything for granted ,I shall stand with breath ,move with awareness in this physical reality.

10. I commit myself to  not miss any day of writing ,to stop the excuses for me.

11.I commit myself to be more aware of my breath ,to slow down in my mind ,to use 4 count of breathing .

12.I commit myself to write ,to stop the judgment in me about writing and instead spend time on my vocabulary ,to improve my writings.